Qana'a

People tend to search the hidden things, rather than looking at what is obvious. People tend to look at what’s unreachable, than treasuring what they already own. In a way, it produce competitive mind where you always set a goal after another. In another way, it kept you wanting more and more and will never get you satisfied.

I’m in no authority to speak on religious issues. But it’s more on the responsibility towards ‘ilm or knowledge. The responsibility of sharing it to others, rather than keeping it to yourself.

Qana’a is a sense of feeling enough with what Allah give to us after we tried hard. Qana’a will restrain you from seeing things which aren’t yours. I once read an article when I was in secondary school. It says something like challenges for muslims change according to the phases of life. Adults will eventually face the challenge of controlling greed.

I can’t make myself to think that someday, I’ll be greedy. Such as for money, cars, houses, handbags. I was too naïve eventually. Those challenges will come on its time and I’m having a glimpse of it during my age right now. People said I grew fast. You know why? Because I live with adults around me. And experience IS a big teacher.

That is why qana’a is so important. It keeps you rooted when your ambitions are flying high up in the sky. It gives you the chance to dream big, but at the same time be redha with what you have or get. When at times, you feel like people live better than you, please, please do realize than billions of people live worse than you are now.

I think it’s important to keep reminding yourself to be grateful. Because insaan do always forget. Always. That of course will include me. Therefore, this month of Ramadhan is the best madrasah tarbiyyah for us to control our shahwah while instilling qana’a in ourselves insyaAllah. This will remind us of our position as mere servant of Allah, just the same as everyone else.

And at the end of the day, only piety that differentiates us all. Wallahu’alam.

Personality

Each people got their own personality. And personalities sometimes are built without the consciousness of the person. It’s something that is penetrated from the inner side of a person. The favorites, from music to food and the style including how you laugh are parts of your own personality. Personality can be created, but most of the time it is just the natural side of you. I feel like describing some of the personalities that are close to me ;)

My Kakak

Kakak got her own personality. But the most obvious or unique will be her social skill. Kakak is a type of person who every mak cik will try to kenen-kenen with someone. Haha. She is very good with elder people. She will talk like laju-laju sambil gelak-gelak bertepuk tampar. Plus, she is like makcik-makcik. She cooks well, sew well, gossip well. Hehe. She is super FEMININE! J

My Akir

Akir can be considered as a techno-geek. But he is never a geek of course. Huhu. He is good with IT things and anything related to computer. He knows the latest gadgets and software, sort of. I might be the blind one, anyway. Hehe. And he is my tempat rujuk hal agama. As a brother, he will be as truthful as he can and I know he just want the best. He is my USTAZ! J

My Ayed

Photography and car are his things. Ayed knows how to drive when he was in primary school. And he is the one who taught my sisters their first drive. He once modified an old merc till it roared with turbo and he airbrushed it like it’s on fire. Hehe. He loves drift and drag race. And now his camera suits to be M-16, if you know what I mean. Huhu. And he is FUNNNNEYH! J

These people probably have other gazillion personalities. But I don’t intend to write it all. This is just a way to express my love for them. I may not be the best lil sis, but I will always try insyaAllah. Oh yes, I do have other sisters, but maybe some other time. Hehe. I love my family to bits. Alhamdulillah wa Syukur Lillah!

Tempat terbaik adalah di sisi keluarga. Ramadhan Mubarak everyone! Let's take this month as a chance to be a BETTER servant, parent, child or whoever we might be, insyaAllah! :D

Jet lag

This time going overseas, I had terrible jet lag. Where in the morning, I sleep like a baby and at night I feel like punching myself to bed. It is so hard to go to sleep that I prefer to be awake. And sleeping in the day is not comfortable at all. At all! You'll end up feeling sick. Sick to the throat. And surely it's because of the time difference. My sleeping time in UK which is like 9 or 10 pm there will be equal to 4 or 5 am in here! So I could not manage to sleep earlier or later than that at first.

And my life at that time is kinda upside down. So I learn that though it's only about sleeping, which sometimes not a big deal, it REALLY does affect your life. Surely. Instead of getting caught in that never-ending circle, I tried fixing it which at the end of the day, Alhamdulillah works. It just need a little bit of motivation, I believe. Hehe. So for those planning to go overseas (not Singapore meh) Huhu and probably will be getting jet lag, go smack your head to the wall and say, "This is not UK (or else) anymore, now get up!" It works most of the time :D

And while wandering on the Internet during those sleepless night, I found this beautiful song. So beautiful that it kinda inspired me for my blog. Wanna know why? Because the title is Deeper Conversation by Yuna. Hehe. It keep me good company and it IS my kinda song.

P/S: This song is not only for lovey-dovey between boy-girl (wekk). But it can be between parent-child, sisters, bestmates. Whoever you love and just wanting to know more about them :) This is for my loved ones!

Youngest

Being the youngest in the family doesn’t mean that you are the most spoilt. I object the idea, but somehow it depends on the person. You still can be a spoilt brat even if you’re the eldest. I’ve seen few. But there are lots of youngest child that are mature and sort of independent. That’s the way most of my friends are. You know why? Because being the youngest, you have a huge opportunity to be left alone in the house with your parents. Got what I mean? When all of your elder siblings went to work or study, you got a high chance to be the only child.

But doesn’t that mean you can be much spoiler? (heh, spoiler?) I mean more pampered. In a way, yeah it is possible. But thinking about the chores, you can choose to be an adult. Unless your mom is the super duper mom a.k.a supreme cook a.k.a work machine who does all the chores by herself without asking for her daughter’s help and end up raising a good-for-nothing wife-to-be. Haha boleh pulak. In a way, I once dreamt of having a mom like that where I can goyang kaki sambil tengok TV and tunggu nasik masak sambil order nak makan apa.

But I am much grateful to have a working mom that teaches me that the house is the responsibility of every member in it. And I end up knowing how a house should run (except the laundry work yang memang selamanya irritating). Because seeing the married life of my sisters, I know they benefited a lot from how our house works. And it won’t happen if our mom did not put her trust in her daughters. I mean, I started invading the kitchen since I was eleven (which is quite lambat cause my sister can cook chicken soup when she was only 10!).

And I started experimenting nasi goreng and bihun goreng which end up being bubur nasi and bihun sup. Haha. But my mom still laughs because she knows I’ll find the way eventually. And yes Alhamdulillah I do. But never will be the expert who starts her career earlier which is my sister. Haha. And suami sayang jugak kalau tak pandai masak? Cut the crap, you still have to cook anyway and it is better if you can do it well. Screw cerita melayu yang suami senyum sayang sayang even ikan goreng hangit and sup masin. At first ok la, hari hari?

Adoi, I don’t intend to speak about marriage life satgi orang cakap gatal. Hehe. But the main point is, there are some people who refute the need of a woman knowing how to cook by comparing to the guy knowing how to be the imam. You know what? Both are mandatory la dear. I always believe that:

Tinggi-tinggi mana pun seseorang wanita itu terbang, last-last hinggap di ceruk dapur juga (bersama asap, peluh, keringat dan kesan lecuran) Sekian.

Nour el-Hayaa

“Meta-ethics, cognitivism,deotology…” berbelit-belit lidah Hayaa mengulang baca apa yang dipelajarinya siang tadi. Dikatup bukunya rapat, mata terpejam. Dilepaskan keluh yang berat sambil memicit-micit batang hidung. Ah, ini bukan kerja mudah. Terlalu banyak istilah untuk dihafal dan difahami. Sungguh, dia tidak mahu lupa akan azamnya awal semester dulu. Dia mahu memanfaatkan pelajaran kali ini sungguh-sungguh. Dia tidak mahu hafal di lidah, tapi di kepala, kosong. Maka dipaksa kepalanya bekerja berat. Akan diamati makna disebalik setiap bait yang rumit itu.

Seketika fikiran ligat berputar, kata-kata Dr. Ridhuan di kuliah siang tadi terngiang-ngiang kembali. “Pasti kamu pening melihat istilah-istilah dan teori yang banyak ini kan.. ketahuilah manusia pada ketika itu sibuk merangka ideologi sendiri bagi menolak wujudnya Tuhan.” Hayaa mengangguk-angguk. Diiyakan kata-kata Dr. Ridhuan di dalam hati. Seketika dulu, dia kagumi Aristotle dan Plato, berjaya merumuskan banyak perkara dan mencipta teori yang dianuti sekalian manusia sehingga sekarang.

Disangkanya ada asas pada setiap yang diperkatakan oleh ahli falsafah Greek dan Roman itu. Mana nak ditahu mereka menciptanya atas dasar rasional sendiri. Semuanya dikerah oleh pemikiran manusia yang sedia maklum terbatas itu. Disangkanya Stephen Hawking dan Charles Darwin itu sudah jagoan, mencipta teori kewujudan manusia melalui eksperimentasi. Tapi Aristotle dan Plato mampu pengaruhi pemikiran manusia hanya melalui kata-kata dan tanpa bukti uji kaji!

Makanya di akhir kuliah, terlihatlah kesemua corak pemikiran ini bisa terhapus oleh wujudnya wahyu Tuhan. Apabila kata-kata Muhammad disulam ayat-ayat Kalamullah, apabila Ibnu Sina memaksima kemampuan akal melalui initipati Kitabullah dan apabila Imam Abu Hanifah memanifestasi indahnya ajaran Rasulullah, mereka tiada tandingan. Tiada siapa mampu mengubah ayat Allah, tiada siapa mampu mencabar sunnah Rasulullah.

Nah, Hayaa tersenyum puas. Tak perlu dihurai panjang. Siapa-siapa yang melihat menggunakan mata hati, kebenarannya sudah siap di depan mata. Sehingga tidak perlu lagi dicipta pelbagai macam ‘ism’ untuk memuaskan pemikiran manusia. Manusia itu banyak, ragamnya banyak, soalannya banyak. Tapi akhirnya soalan itu tertuju ke jawapan yang satu. Dengan sampainya ke jawapan itu, datanglah dia pada satu tahap pemikiran yang dinamakan keyakinan hingga kalbunya menjadi tenang.

Jadi, mengapa ramai yang tidak ketemu akan jawapan ini? Jalannya panjangkah atau berliku-likukah? Ya, satu perkara perlu diletakkan di hadapan. Hidayah Allah. Tapi manusia juga sering berdolak-dalih. Sehingga kebenaran di hadapan mata manjadi kelam suram dek nafsu. Hayaa teringat lagi Dr. Ridhuan memetik kata-kata Prof Syed Naquib Al-Attas “Manusia itu mencapai tahap tertinggi apabila jiwa haiwaninya berjaya dikawal jiwa ruhaniah..” Kerna jiwa ruhaniah ini kenal Tuhannya. Jiwa ruhaniah ini yang bersumpah di hadapan Tuhannya di alam ruh dahulu bahawa Dialah Tuhan Semesta Alam. Tiada sekutu bagiNya.

Hayaa berkerut. Lantas di mana jiwa ruhaniah itu sekarang? Ya, jiwa ruhaniah itu fitrah kita. Fitrah kita yang sudah berbai’ah dengan Tuhan tanpa ragu dan sangsi. Lalu, umat manusia yang sesat hilang fitrahnya? Tidak, fitrahnya tidak hilang. Cuma dirinya hilang punca, tidak pulang pada fitrah sendiri. Fitrah kita itu suci. Tidak dicalit sedikit pun dosa. Fitrah kita murni, fitrah kita kenal Penciptanya. Maka apabila dia kenal, mustahil akan berlaku sewenangnya. Itu hakikat, harus diterima.

Namun realiti buat Hayaa tertunduk insaf. Manusia tertipu, tertipu dengan helah sendiri. Jiwa haiwani bebas bermaharajalela lalu jiwa ruhaniahnya di mana? Fitrahnya sudah ke mana? Sedangkan kita waktu bayi pun masakan lahir bersama dosa seperti dilaung si Kafir. Jadi siapa yang jadikan kita manusia yang kotor, hanyir, maung oleh dosa? Fitrahnya sudah sirnakah diganti kegelapan. Nauzubillah.. Hayaa ulang istighfar banyak kali.

Skeptik Hayaa melayang. Hilang terbang. Siapa bilang kalau belajar sekularisasi, belajar metafizik, belajar falsafah bukan ilmu akhirat? Siapa bilang itu kerja si intelek, si kaca mata mengangkut buku tebal? Itu kerja kita, ya kita semua. Kerana itu fitrah kita. Jiwa ruhaniah kita kehausan. Spiritual kita dahagakan ilmu. Naluri kita mencari hikmah. Hati kita sedang sesat mungkin, menanti tuannya iring jalan pulang. Persoalannya, kenapa tidak sekarang? 



وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِن بَنِي آدَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ قَالُواْ بَلَى شَهِدْنَا أَن تَقُولُواْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَذَا غَافِلِينَ 7:172


“Dan ingatlah ,ketika tuhanmu mengeluarkan keterunan anak adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka. Dan (ingatlah), ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan keturunan anak-anak Adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka (seraya berfirman): "Bukankah Aku ini Tuhanmu?" Mereka menjawab: "Betul (Engkau Tuhan kami), kami menjadi saksi." (Kami lakukan yang demikian itu) agar di hari kiamat kamu tidak mengatakan: "Sesungguhnya kami (bani Adam) adalah orang-orang yang lengah terhadap ini (keesaan Tuhan)"


Dikarang pada hari Khamis, 12 Mei 2011, malam.

Moving On

Assalamualaikum.

It's been a looong time and I don't really want to mention it. Hehe. I almost give up writing actually. But instead I turn to the real deal by renovating this site like removing unwanted posts and changing the layout. It’s not that some of my previous posts become craps and this layout looks cool (haha) but it’s like cleaning session. I think in each and every journey, we have to stop and ponder and reflect and do the necessary stuff which is moving on.

So for my next writings.. (ewah, macam dalam meeting pulak) I don’t really have a plan actually. Laaa.. cakap bukan main. Actually I have too many ideas, so I’ll try to fit in all of it one at a time. So for now, I’ll just go with the flow. By the way, last few months, my writing spirit just fired up! So I’ve got few short stories to share which now I’ve compiled in another blog (storage je!) InsyaAllah.

Personal note. I’ve just got back from United Kingdom last week. And I already wrote some interesting things I found there in few writings. And that will be my stock when I’m short of ideas for the coming time, hehe insyaAllah. But my blog will always be the easy-reading one as if in easy-listening music (ada ke?). And I’ll try to get writing in English again which is the initial purpose of me having this blog.

Last but always not least, I thank Allah for this wonderful, unexpected journey of my life since day one I was born in this world until now and with no complete idea when I will return to Him. May Allah please with everything I do and always guide me, not into turning to somebody else, but being the best of myself, insyaAllah.